A "new" bike for Jonathon

Last night while my husband and I were sitting in our backyard enjoying the beautiful evening, we heard the doorbell ring. At the door stood an elderly man I recognized, one year ago I used to live a 1/4 mile down the road from him. He asked me about an old innertube I had put out for pickup, he said he would like it for his grandson to use in his pool. I told him I would throw it in the pickup truck and deliver it to his home...we only moved a 1/2 mile from our old home. I told him I had been waiting for him and his grandson to ride their bikes by my home again because I had a bike they might be interested in. I had noticed the past few months that his grandson Jonathon had been riding a broken down bike, and it was a girls bike...kids get teased about those kind of things. I asked the grandpa if it was alright if I offered Jonathon a bike that my daughter had out grown, she maybe had 5 miles on it at most, and it was a boys bike. Grandpa said it was o.k., so I wiped the dust off from it, and wheeled it out of the garage. Jonathon jumped right on and took it for a spin. I may not have a picture on my camera of a seven year old boy, with black hair, stunning blue eyes, and a face covered with freckles, proud as could be riding his "new" bike, but my minds eye will hold that picture forever. I told the grandpa I would put it in the truck also, and deliver it to him. After I reached their home I unloaded the tube and bike and stayed for a visit. It was apparent to me that Jonathon had some problems, his grandpa told me he is ADHD, and that he is on medication. I spent some time with Jonathon explaining how to operate the gears on his new bike , and out of the blue he told me that he has a mom and dad, they just don't want him. I struggled to continue our lesson about gears, as I'm looking into his beautiful eyes wondering "HOW???", how could he NOT be wanted? I knew when I left their home last night it wouldn't be the last visit I will have with them. This morning about 11:00 (I'm being lazy in my jammies) the doorbell rang, it was Jonathon, he had a envelope for me, I opened it and read it, I laughed, and felt so overwhelmed with joy...the note had a picture of a monkey with wings holding a bananna, the note read, "Thankyou for the bike! I'll be flying around the neighborhood with my new bike! Keep cats, dogs, and cars out of the way. And don't step on a bananna peel. "signed" Your friend Jonathon" I let Jonathon know that this letter is going to hang on my refridgerator for a long time to come, we shook hands and said we will be seeing each other soon. I must say, I was honored that a 7 year old boy wants me to be his friend. If I can give him anything of importance, it will be hope. I have a feeling I will be involved in this childs life for a while, nothing I chose to do, rather it was chosen for me.

Max & Gabbie

We went without living with a dog for 10 years, the time just wasn't right. Having a dog, to me, is a huge commitment, for I know when I take one on, it's part of our family till it's time for them to cross over that rainbow bridge. That is another reason why it was a hard decision, it's always been difficult for me to loose an pet. After much prodding by one of my daughters, we started checking out the animal shelter the end of August 2005. I had never been to one of those places, animals had always found me, I never went looking for one. This particular animal shelter is divided into good doggies, and bad doggies....although I don't think there are any bad doggies, only bad owners. Max was in a cold cement room with 65 cages, they were filled with the undesirable dogs. He was just dropped off that morning, and I suppose because of his breed, (chow, german shepard, retriever), and not knowing if he had any of those dog diseases, he was placed with the quarantined dogs. He looked so frightened, so mangy, and just so out of place. I remember after seeing him, I high-tailed it out of that room, holding my breath so my flood gates didn't break loose. My senses were reeling, I felt like I had just walked through a prison, like you see in a movie with the prisoners begging you to acknowledge them. I placed my name on the list for Max, grabbed my girls, ran to the car, and sat there and cried like a baby. We had to wait 5 days to see if someone would claim him, I didn't think that was going to be a problem. We returned the following week when the doors opened to take our new baby home...I asked the people at the desk (a county run shelter...paid for by taxpayers) if they would like vet references from me, they said with a puzzled look, "no, but we need $25.00 in CASH"....obviously they don't give a shit who takes these animals home. The only thing that curbed my "evil tongue", and "my wanting to bitch-slap-em hand" was Max's beautiful thankful eyes, and my daughters smiles.
Max has been everything I could have ever dreamed of in a dog, he knows his place in our home, and learns rather quickly, he only wants to please us (most of the time). I love him so much that this past Christmas we got him a "toy" named Gabbie.....she is another story, but for now I have to return to the book I'm reading titled "Cesar's Way" by Cesar Millan, he has the TV show "The Dog Whisperer", it's really a neat informative book.

The pool is up!!

I must have hauled about 5,259,467 loads of soil and sand in the wheel barrow, just preparing the ground for a pool..my dear husband hauled about 325,000 more loads then I. I was elated Thursday night when he told me he was going to take Friday off from work so we could erect this pool. I love working along side of him...it's so natural, we work so well together. Every time we embark on a project for my girls, I am forever amazed at how he just goes at it. My Jim, is one of the finest men I have ever known, his mom and dad raised him well. My husband tells me my x-husband made it easy for him, anything he could do for me, surely surpassed what my EX did (or didn't do), and he is right. My sweet husband informed my daughters that the doggies can also share the pool with us.......half of me says, what the hell are you thinking??? The other half of me thinks, maybe I should not worry about the little stuff so much. I so wish I could relax more about things, guys are different for sure. Now if Michigan would only cooperate and give me some sunshine to warm this pool up...I need a tan, because as most people know, tanned fat looks better then white fat.

Today would have been my Dad's 73rd birthday. It is really a shame (for the family) that he died at the age of 71. Dad was a child at heart, and just as curious also. Growing up, I knew my Dad worked hard for his family. He was 18 when he married my Mom, she was 17. The odds today of a marriage starting out so young, and lasting, aren't very good, hey, the odds of marriages lasting at all are still at 50%, right? In the fifties, it seemed there were an entirely different set of values, or maybe values were valued more. I am sure their marriage endured rough times, but they were so busy raising 5 children there wasn't much time to dwell on their differences. I found my Dad the most enjoyable when he finally retired, it gave him the time to be a substitute Dad for my girls, and to set an example of what Dads are suppose to be like. He seemed like the glue that held our family together, because after he passed away, (and it WAS sudden, damned Michigan snow anyway) the family seemed to break apart, I just think some people need to grow up at some point in their lives. I know in my heart my Dad lives on in all of us, and the best way to honor him is to try and get along, it's what he would have expected. So in honor of his Birthday, I'm going to work hard, take Mom to get a new set of tires, lend an ear to someone who needs it, and have an ice cold beer. Rest in peace my dear Dad, you have earned it! I'll see ya someday when my work is done.

My eldest sister

I suppose I write everything as though I'm having a one-sided conversation...which I am. I have too many thoughts and feelings, not, to put them down somewhere. This Blog helps me to maybe answer questions I have, and also remember my feelings, and thoughts, about a day. Hopefully this virtual space will always remain, so one day my children can read my thoughts, and know the me, outside of the Mom. At their age, they don't fully comprehend that I am a person (singular) , and that I feel (verb). For some reason that is the layout of life.
I had a wonderful...no, better then wonderful day yesterday. My mom dropped my eldest sister off to my home in the early afternoon, it has been way too long since she and I shared time alone, (the girls are in day camp this week and almost hate it). Most of the day consisted of each other co-existing in each others space...with perfect harmony I might add. I was born on Cindys birthday, which is November 23...she is 7 years my senior, (I always say to her, I was her best birthday present)...she only glares at me, I do it to get a rise out of her (smiling).

When I was a young child, Cindy is what people labeled as "mentally retarded", I prefer to use that label for some people, such as my X boss..(smiling again). Now we refer to people like her as developmentally disabled, or slow, or mentally challenged. Couldn't we all fall into those categories at one time or another? Cindy is 53 years old, but in this world I would place her at around 10 or 11 years of age. When I am with her, I have a degree of patience that surpasses MY comprehension, (patience is not my long suit by any means). I have always learned from her, and continue to do so, I, for as long as I can remember have referred to her as a gift. Because of who she is, I personally, have learned tolerance for those whom don't respond physically or mentally as quick as most. She tires very easily, so I made a comfy sleeping area for her, and turned on one of her favorite shows, layed one of my pups next to her, while the big pup layed on the floor, perfect harmony. When she awoke, she said, "Sandy, I had a deep nap". I only smiled, (my heart was bursting with joy), she felt so safe with me and my dogs. My dogs gave her much love and attention, they are wonderful creatures. In the evening, we sat outdoors and soaked in the beautiful warm summer air, she decided to get up and take a walk alone, as I sat back and watched her walk away from me, I couldn't help but notice how she walks a little slower, or how her hair is graying, or how she walked in a way that she knows she is aging. It is difficult to view Cindy as getting older, because she socially acts as if she is a young child. By the grace of God, (and a lot of training by our mother) Cindy is able to manage in her own home, she enjoys her independence (don't most of us?). As I was driving her home in the late evening, I asked her what she will be doing the rest of the night, she mentioned a few T.V. programs, one of them being Power Rangers, and I am reminded again of how vunerable she is in this crazy world. We as a family, (separately, but that's another story) will forever have to watch over Cindy and keep her safe and healthy, it is not a burden in any way to me, for the little I give to her, I receive back ten-fold. Not that a message is needed here, but if there were to be one, it's all in your perspective, (kind of the half empty or half full way of thinking). But with Cindy, I don't completely choose my perspective, it's almost like it's inevitable. So, here's to you sis, (that's her nickname for me) you fill my heart with such joy! I love you.

Cracked pot

My daughters and I attended a contemporary service at our church last night, I felt an overwhelming need to go. Funny, when that happens, it seems as though the sermon is directed towards me. Our Pastor spoke of a water bearer who would tote two clay pots to the river for water for his master. One of the pots was totally intact, the other bore a crack. After about a year the cracked pot apologized to the water bearer saying, "I am so sorry, by the time you return, half of the water that I hold is gone". The water bearer told the pot, "even though you are flawed, you still have been useful, you see I have planted flower seeds along our path, and as we walked you have managed to water those seeds so I could provide fresh cut flowers to my master". (I hate it when I cry in church) Lately I have been feeling broken and not of much use. Through that message I find God loves us no matter where we are in life, no matter how broken we are, He will use us for His benefit. The Pastor had two clay pots on the altar, one flawless, the other cracked. He placed a candle in each one to demonstrate that in some of the most broken people, you can see Gods light shine through the most. The sermon also reminded me of Gods perfection, how He can love the most unloveable people, even I can't do that....a few names come to mind. ;) After the sermon ended people stood around and chatted, and talked about the cracked pot, many saying how they feel broken also, so I proceeded
to say, "I have a BIG crack"...after my daughter poked me in the back I realized what I had just said..I.COULD.HAVE.DIED!! On the bright side I know my daughter will have some of her mothers raunchy sense of humor, that sense of humor was my saving grace when I worked in a world of all men, it helped to break the ice, and to keep them on their toes. By the time the work day ended, I was sure they would go home and treat their wifes with the respect they so deserved...because I let them know in no uncertain terms that they weren't easy to work with...how in Gods name did their wifes put up with them??? May you find the peace of God in your day..no matter how perfect you feel, or how broken you are.

My Maypole of life

To me a Maypole is "something" to dance around, something that brings great joy. For me, it was, and remains my father. This has been my second year without my father here with me on Fathers Day. He set a wonderful example for my daughters and I......and many others also. I eventually will figure out this entire blog thing, and post a picture of him. My dad was truly a gift from God, I believe sent to spread joy, and to keep his children safe and warm. I only hope that he knew how much he gave to his family, he deserved that much. He visits me in my dreams when I call out to him, I do know, he is not gone. I do hope I thanked him enough for all that he did for us and for all of the times he was there for me, and I hope I told him enough times how much I loved him. Dad was my Maypole in life, I so enjoyed dancing around him, he surely was a sight to behold!
I love you Dad, for you were my favorite person in the entire world.