This will probably only be understood by me.

You ask me nicely to create several pieces for an upcoming show, I look at you dumbly, and say o.k. Why do I do this to myself? I'll tell you, I could never, ever, get rich doing this. I need to be inspired by the sky, water, wind, LIFE. I'm embarrassed to throw things together, I can barely stand back and see the beauty I create being displayed in your showcase that I spent weeks on, how on earth am I going to be able to stand there on Saturday while we display our things, and if, that's a BIG one, IF someone says to me, "OH, that's just beautiful, you are so talented." I'll want to look them square in the eye and say, " JESUS lady, I just threw that shit together!" Now if there is any integrity in creating the things that I do, I feel as though I'm compromising it. I don't want to compromise anything anymore in my life! Lets back track, YES, there is integrity, I shop for components that are people friendly, I do the best I can to make sure there is no child labor involved. I recycle as much as I can, but the sad thing is, the buyers don't want to hear these things. This is such a "I want it now" world, I want to " look good" no matter the cost. Me personally, I feel a responsibility to this planet and people. I want desperately to let the buyers know they are buying a piece of me, my heart. Each piece I sell goes with a prayer for the owner. I really want to know these things matter to you, but that would be selfish of me to hold you to my standards. I'm sorry that I couldn't tell you this would bother me so much. But I'm going to, in a nice way, I'll rehearse it in my mind. I am no better then you, but you know the old saying, "to thine own self be true." It applies here, I think for both of us. We are different, but the same. You create to please others, I create to please me. Now after re-reading what I've written, I did compromise myself, I said yes, when I should have said no, and if we are going to have a future together in this venture, you need to understand, and I need to be honest. Knowing you, you will understand, and chalk it up to "complimenting each other."

RIP Uncle Don

Uncle Don, you contributed greatly to my childhood memories. Your voice was soft and sweet, your hair jet black and shiny, your talents knew no boundaries. Your laughter was contagious, as I caught it every time you laughed. You were daddy's best friend. After dad died, your family couldn't bear to tell you, it would have devastated you, and if dad were here to witness your leaving, it would have devastated him also. Oh to be a fly in heaven and witness dad seeing you, whole again, your illness made him so sad. You were a complete joy to be around. Thank you for sharing your wonderful family with ours.
I felt like a child again today at your funeral, songs were sung that were sung so many years ago, some from the same men that sang them then, only back then, they had a few beers in them! I've always loved you ol' coots.


I'll be seeing you;
In all the old, familiar places;
That this heart of mine embraces;
All day through.
In that small cafe;
The park across the way;
The childrens carousel;
The chestnut tree;
The wishing well.
I'll be seeing you;
In every lovely, summers day;
And everything thats bright and gay;
I'll always think of you that way;
I'll find you in the morning sun;
And when the night is new;
I'll be looking at the moon;
But I'll be seeing you.



I'll be seeing you Uncle Don.
xxxxxoooooo

Upon awakening this morning,

there was that familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach. The feeling of sadness and disbelief. "Oh yeah" I say to myself, innocent people were slaughtered yesterday. Many moms, dads, sisters, brothers, wives, husbands, children, and so on, didn't sleep at all last night. The nation is heavy with grief, I can feel it. May God help us all...again.

One more post...

raising teenage daughters is sort of like a thrill ride. It reminds me of the one at Cedar Point...the Dragster to be exact. Hang on for dear life, close your eyes, inhale and exhale....and it will be over before you know it. Most importantly, you all survive.

It's 12:03 a.m.

My daughter is on the phone with a boy...need I say more? Yep. I'm pissed. I just heard her say, I gotta go, cause my mom said so. Yea, cause mom said so......no better reason then that. Oh.God.help.me. Better yet, God, help that boy that is calling my home ;^)

I have but a moment here...

I was 37 years old when I first was struck by actually knowing, and feeling "someone" gave their one and only Son up for us. It hit me DEAD square between the eyes. I wept for a very long time, I suppose because my girls were only 4 1/2 years old, when this hit me. Could I have given my children up? No, would be my answer, I'm not God. When I actually KNEW that God had done this, and understood the sacrifice, is when it finally dawned on me, after so many, many years, how truly great He is! To me, this is truly the most beautiful season of all. Thank you God, for your gift.

She "happened" to me.

I have been neglecting my blog....lots has been happening, and have found myself just too tired. I decided instead of rambling, I'd jot down some things day by day as they come to me.
On February 9th my husband was reading the business section of our local newspaper and pointed out to me a person who was going to be selling her lampwork beads in a local shop. Where I live in Michigan, you either have to go way south in our state, or way north to find someone who creates art in this medium. He mentioned I should drop in the shop and check it out. The next day I dropped in, we spent much time talking, and we clicked. I dropped in several times after that day, she referred to to me as Mary Poppins, as she would say I would blow in like the wind, and leave the same way. She told me the other day, that it was only a week ago that she found out my name, only because I had left my business card. In the times I stopped into her business, I would spend time with her demonstrating different techniques, brainstorming, and talking of God, and our Dads, but it never occurred to me to leave my name. The first time I visited her, I later found out, was the 3rd year anniversary of her dads death, and it was coming up in a few short days of my 2nd anniversary without my dad. She told me her life changed drastically after she lost her father, and I told her mine did also. I'm not sure for sure what brought her and I together, but I have a pretty good idea. After only 8 weeks of "knowing" her, we can both say we are kindred spirits. We both agree that our paths crossing were meant to happen long before we were born. The only other time I ever felt this way, was when I fell madly in love with my second husband, and that only took a few moments. I feel blessed by God to have met Chris. I believe things happen for a reason, and Chris "happened" to me for a reason, it should be interesting to see what this journey brings. We are talking within the next year of an art gallery, a place to display art, and a place where art is born. It is a wonderful feeling to KNOW when something is right, and not to guess. The feeling is so strong, (for both of us) that to go against it, would be likened to fighting the forces of nature. My husband has noticed this rebirth in me, and he is also very excited. Chris and I share with each other how blessed we are to have such supporting husbands, who want nothing more then to see us fulfilled, and our artistic spirits nourished. Life IS good!