This will probably only be understood by me.

You ask me nicely to create several pieces for an upcoming show, I look at you dumbly, and say o.k. Why do I do this to myself? I'll tell you, I could never, ever, get rich doing this. I need to be inspired by the sky, water, wind, LIFE. I'm embarrassed to throw things together, I can barely stand back and see the beauty I create being displayed in your showcase that I spent weeks on, how on earth am I going to be able to stand there on Saturday while we display our things, and if, that's a BIG one, IF someone says to me, "OH, that's just beautiful, you are so talented." I'll want to look them square in the eye and say, " JESUS lady, I just threw that shit together!" Now if there is any integrity in creating the things that I do, I feel as though I'm compromising it. I don't want to compromise anything anymore in my life! Lets back track, YES, there is integrity, I shop for components that are people friendly, I do the best I can to make sure there is no child labor involved. I recycle as much as I can, but the sad thing is, the buyers don't want to hear these things. This is such a "I want it now" world, I want to " look good" no matter the cost. Me personally, I feel a responsibility to this planet and people. I want desperately to let the buyers know they are buying a piece of me, my heart. Each piece I sell goes with a prayer for the owner. I really want to know these things matter to you, but that would be selfish of me to hold you to my standards. I'm sorry that I couldn't tell you this would bother me so much. But I'm going to, in a nice way, I'll rehearse it in my mind. I am no better then you, but you know the old saying, "to thine own self be true." It applies here, I think for both of us. We are different, but the same. You create to please others, I create to please me. Now after re-reading what I've written, I did compromise myself, I said yes, when I should have said no, and if we are going to have a future together in this venture, you need to understand, and I need to be honest. Knowing you, you will understand, and chalk it up to "complimenting each other."