Saturday, October 13, 2007
As I stand still
if feels as though life is flying by me. I'm standing still because I choose to. I choose to stand and watch, unsure of how I feel about things, unsure of what is happening. I know I'll be called to duty soon, no longer will I be able to stand here in my comfort zone. You will need me after your husband, my brother-in-law dies, and another will need me when they turn her heat off this winter because she cannot pay her bill, and another will need me when she cannot remember where my dad put something, and another will call on me when she is at wits end, wondering why my 7 year old autistic niece's teacher isn't meeting her needs. Lately, I wonder how I keep it all together, but I know I must. I do not search for pity, that is below me, but I do search for answers. On the bright side, this morning was especially beautiful and peaceful, changing seasons, both around me, and within me. I ask that God gives me strength.
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2 comments:
Perhaps by standing still you're following the advice in the first lines of "Desiderata":
"Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence."
"Standing still" in order to reserve strength and energy for when you'll need it seems to me to be a wise choice. Please remember to spend as much time fulfilling your own needs as you do the needs of others. If that seems selfish (which I don't believe it is), then at least acknowledge that if you're falling apart, you won't be of any help to anyone else.
I know from reading what you've written in the past that you have a positive outlook on life, and I've no doubt that others gravitate to you because of that. They will draw strength from you--in fact, they will soak it up like sponges--and you seem to understand that the best way to replenish that strength, to nourish your own spirit, is by standing still, savoring the beauty of the day, and opening your heart and mind to let peacefulness and strength flow in.
I'm no expert, but I think you're doing this exactly right.
Velvet, Desiderata hangs on a wall in my home.
Thank you for your kind words, as well as your wisdom.
Your words meant more to me then what I can express with a keyboard.
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