Sunday, October 15, 2006
But by the grace of God, they made it off to highschool.
I haven't choked them yet. Last night I said it, words my mother said to me, but I don't think she meant them as much as I did. ANGELA, I can only hope you have 5 daughters....no wait, 8. I told her when she comes crying to me one day, I'm going to laugh, but only on the inside. Then I proceded to tell her I'm going to become senile one day, and visit her at her home, and shit in her best chair. She said to me, "I'll leave you there mom, you will die in that chair". Then I in turn told her, "someone would miss me", she said "yea, you're right, but they'll plan a party because YOU'RE DEAD!!!" You may wonder how people that love each other so much can speak that way to each other, I wonder that also. The word bitch as never entered my mind as much as it has these past 3 months. My lovely family (it took a lot to type that) believes in passive parenting, if you don't know what that is, look it up. Passive parenting is sort of like passive living, lay your ass down in the center lane of a highway, and let several wheels run over you. My family has this belief that no matter what my girls do, or what awful things happen to them, somehow I'm responsible, sounds screwy to me, whatever happened to personal responsibilty, it's called "the choices they make" I know now, after raising my daughters for 14 short years, you work strictly by your gut. Now boys are entering the picture (those bastards). My father told me many, many years ago, the one and only thing boys want....I listened to him, I remained a virgin up until I was almost 18, and then I shouldn't have given it away. So I tell my daughters the same thing. Thank God they can talk to me most of the time about sex, but I'm sure there are many things they don't tell me. Like the other evening, I was driving Amanda to get her hair cut, she turned to me and said, "mom, the other day, so and so (so and so is 13) gave Tommy a boner", I looked at Amanda and said," Why do you tell me this stuff when I'm driving 55 MPH?? Do you know what a boner is???? It's an erection, a hard on, the boy is excited...do you really know what that is?" She said," I do now". She also let me know she really doesn't want to hang with so and so to much anymore, because ALL she wants to talk about is boys. (Great sense of relief from my body came out!) In my heart I know it will turn out alright, part of the reason is because I'm involved emotionally with them, but it can be so draining. Our heads are in two completely different places, they would tell you mine is up my ass, and I'd tell you that is where they keep theirs. So fooey, phooy, or phoey, however you spell it, on that passive parenting shit, I'm choosing to stay involved, and right up their rectum till their minds mature. I love them enough to let them hate me right now. When the day comes, and they are wearing their caps and gowns, hopefully drug free, top of their class, unpregnant, and two responsible members of society, my lovely family can pat themselves on the back for the great job they have done. I for one will be thanking God for all of His help, I couldn't do it without Him.
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2 comments:
Well, finally, you've posted again, and I'm glad.
Even if stress was your motivation to write, I have to say that what's going between you and your daughters is much funnier from my vantage point than it is from yours. I know, because I've lived through yours.
My two daughters were the sweetest kids you could imagine when they were young. I thought I must really be good at that motherhood thing. And then they hit their teens, all hell broke loose, and I'd go to bed every night wondering what kind of horrible mothering mistakes I'd made to make them turn out like that.
I married early, so my kids were older than most of my friends' children, thus the first in our group to hit their mid-teens. You can't possibly know the enormous relief I felt when my friends' kids aged a year or two and turned into the same kind of monsters mine were.
I remember shedding a tear or two on Kim's 14th birthday, thinking how sad it was that I'd have her in my home for just a few more years and then she'd be gone. Believe me, by the time four more years had passed, I was MORE than ready.
My theory is that the nasty teen years are part of God's plan to help parents and children separate. The kids need to believe we're stupid and clueless so they can find their own identities and separate from us, and the parents need to see their kids behaving like complete jerks until we reach the point that we're willing to let them go.
If your family is typical, you're in for a few rough years. But the good news is that our kids somehow manage to grow up, and, somewhere along the line, they learn to cut us some slack and love and respect us again.
Hang in there, Sandy, you'll all be fine on the other end of this.
Thanks for stopping by & leaving a comment for Dojo. I so appreciate it.
Blessed be...
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